by Sara Lewis
“Gay is not the way, just kill yourself.” These words were written on the back of a survey that I handed out to one of many classes at Hudson High School. These words stung me. They brought tears to my eyes and ended every bit of happiness I had that day.
As an out-of-the-closet bisexual, I have braced myself for many words of hate.
Kill yourself.
The words were painful.
I expected maybe some negative feedback, but never did I expect the school to be so homophobic. After analyzing the results of my survey, my feelings were beyond mixed. Out of the 109 students surveyed in grades 8 through 12, 27 students said they wouldn’t feel comfortable around gay, bi, transgender individuals. That leaves 77 people who did feel comfortable, and 4 who said maybe.
They may not seem like a lot, but often times those 27 people can strongly voice their opinion.
I question if some people lied just to make me feel better, because when students in the hall see my girlfriend and me holding hands they seem shocked. However many relationships of male and female get no stares at all for doing much worse at school.
Why do we stand out so much? Is it because we are two girls? Or is it because we are open and happy with our relationship?
Ribbon day and having students sign a pledge to respect all of those who are gay, lesbian, bi, and transgender have attempted to stop homophobia. But as much as we would wish to think such acts help us, I feel that those acts actually cause more people to hate us.
They don’t want to hear us complain about not being accepted; that makes them hate us more.
The Ribbon day and pledge are supposed to “get people knowing that we do exist,” Health teacher Dee Grassey says.
Are people so ignorant to think that we don’t exist? Because we are here; we exist. We aren’t leaving anytime soon.
I am hopeful that people will start to become more accepting of us in this high school.
It’s clear GSA (Gay, Straight Alliance) at our school is trying hard to do so. But they have little support. Sadly the GSA, which meets on Wednesdays, has only around 5 or 6 regular members.
It seems the true message all of us are trying to get across is, we are here. We are not going to be crushed under harsh words or ignorant people who tell us to kill ourselves.
Katie Benson • Apr 23, 2012 at 2:23 pm
I have to say that I do not think this is about recognizing hate so much as seeing the love. People fight against others because of their own personal battles. Nothing anyone else says or thinks should affect you. I understand that it can be easier said than done, which is why it should be brought to our attention to focus on enjoying our own lives.
Sara, you said you are in a happy relationship with your girlfriend. Cherish it, enjoy it and get the most out of it that you can. Even if it doesn’t last, you can always say that you had each other.
Pat Emmons, RN • Jun 1, 2012 at 6:55 pm
Words of wisdom Katie. Why is it that we pay attention to the few who try to bring us down and ignore the many who love us? It’s probably just human nature but we need to try a new approach. Ignore the haters and embrace all who are enlightened and accepting!
Carol Hobbs • Apr 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Sara, wonderful work with both the survey and the story. I am saddened to know that in what should be enlightened times we still encounter hate on the scale directed at you through the survey. Love is love and it beats hating any day. I am happy to hear your voice and see your pride. I know this will inspire those who may not feel so confident about their place in the world. Thank you for this.
dgrassey • Apr 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm
I’m so sorry Sara. You would think with all the education students receive about the Holocaust, genocides, and war that they would recognize hate. I guess we have a long way to go! It will get better, I have to believe that!
Mrs. Ramshaw • Apr 13, 2012 at 12:28 am
Sadly, we still have long way to go before we can be a school (and society) without hate. I do hope, however, that your story will help other see that homophobia is a major problem. Perhaps it will inspire others to get involved and not simply be bystanders when they see or hear injustice.
…and yes, we could always use more GSA members. We meet every Wednesday, after school in G208.
Wallingford • Apr 12, 2012 at 6:38 pm
A bold and honest story, Sara. I’m sure it will srike a chord with many and open the eyes of others.